I will. I can. I want. I have to.

This summer, I strive to do something I have never before. I will achieve a perfectly creative intellectual  summer. I will read many many books. Books, of war, love, hatred and idiots. I will write daily, about anything and everything. I will learn all the things that make me ignorant. Me me loose a large portion of that ignorance. I will enter next year, as the same girl, but yet a grown women. I will travel, in motor home, to Mexico. See the world beyond the window. Carry a journal with me, that I will actually write in. A journal that will be full by the first day of school. I will complete the book I am writing, or at least a large portion of it. I strive to become a better writer, a better learner, and a better human.

I thought it was Family Day?

You know how Sunday is supposed to be all cheers and laughs with the family? It never has truly been like that to me.  It was always screams and fights. When something turns out right something turns it wrong. It is also why I hate Church, I rarely so I can hide, hide from the screams. Since when we go it never brings us together but tears us apart. It makes me loose faith. My dad does not take us to church for us, but for the CHURCH PEOPLE. I rather be somewhere else away from all the people. I don't like those people, they have ruined my life. I don't like it there. I just do not. It brings me, the pacifist,  to screams. Me of all people. I don't like screaming, I hate it but when I am with them, in this horrible environment, I go crazy. I don't think about what I am saying. I just say it. Getting me in trouble. Worst of all my parents have hearing problems, always hearing things I did not even say. I think they might just have a bigger imagination than mine. 

I understand I have my moods too, I feel fat one day, skinny another, I am a female with horrible mood swings. I hate them with all my might. I don't even understand why I get so angered at my mother when she wants to wear my cloths. Maybe I do like her fat, maybe I am jealous. Maybe I just rather have a hobo, that actually needs it, where it. I don't know what is going on in my mind. I am a complicated fool. 

Even worse we went off to the stores and the second we actually start looking around my father tells me that my Aunt and her family are on their way to our house. The exact moment we start looking.  I hate that about my aunt, they always come at the worst moments. Always when I don't want company. ALWAYS.  I like knowing HOURS before that someone is coming over, not minutes. So we rushed home, they have not even drove up the drive-way. I am not a happy camper right now. But I have the urge to read a book about romance. I off to just that. Look for a small one and READ. When they come I will be too busy, because I will be glued to a GREAT love story. 

P.S. 

The world might just be

What you want to see

A Bee in Your Bonnet.

New name of the Zine.

YAY!!!

Saw "How To Be" today, it was slow but adorable and actually a great movie.

Then I finished "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut 

Loved it.

Now I have 5 MORE SUMMER READING BOOKS!

I already started on "Catch-22".

=]

Summer Reading Goals:

Books I have to or want to complete.

Have To:

Cats Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut [Already Half Way Done]

Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

White Noise - Don Delillo 

The Brothers K - David James Duncan

Beloved - Toni Morrison

Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky [All of these are for AP English. I read them my Small - Big and back to Small. Also by what I wanted to read more.] 

Popism: The Warhol Stories - Andy Warhol and Pat Hackett [Already more than Half Way done. I just am way too busy. Likewise with the next book] 

Haunted - Chuck Palahnuik

A Million Pieces - James Frey [ like the others I started but I got distracted. ]

Want To:

Franny and Zooey - J.D. Salinger 

Flappers and Philosophers - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide - Douglas Adams 

Wicked - Gregory Maguire 

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer - Mark Twain

The Old Man and  the Sea - Ernest Hemingway

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez 

Bridget Jones 1&2 - Helen Fielding 

For now that is it.

I know I will at least complete the "Have To" List.

I have to. ;]

And just maybe this summer I can finally discover my true favorite writer.

P.S. I actually own all of these books, and so many more, these are just my priorities.