Six word memoir of this day.

Procrastination can both save and ruin.

Hiding

working all night

till my sockets fall in

drink some coffee

keep me awake

I need to not sleep

40 more to go

I am almost to the finish line

coffee is too hot

burn my lip tonight

this makes no sense

well glad to know

If I put my head down

the dreams can find me

I have to stay hidden 

I will keep my head up 

HIGH

my mother sleeps on my bed

my father sleeps in his bed

my brother runs on a treadmill 

I sit here working 

Studying

because I need to be smart

 I need to make them proud 

the one sleeping on my bed

the one sleeping on theirs

the one running away from fat

I have to keep them proud

I am a smart ass

One with ignorance

I must decrease that ignorance

for them

but partly for me

so now I hide from dreams

sitting here 

and studying all night

 

hA.

My niece made me a imaginary boyfriend.

His name is Jackand.

She even drew a picture. 

It's very adorable.

=]

P.S.

I hope I never meet a boy named Jackand.

I hate Chemistry but I love her.

Dance Anthem of the 80s

Gosh I love Panic.

http://www.myspace.com/hillsidesession

Really.

Any project they become a part of I begin to love.

Fuck My "Diet" Today.

Ode to Pasta

Pasta te amo

I love you

With all your fat

with all my fat

all the fat you give to I

I who hates fat

yet still loves you

I took italian

so I can love you more

 I took italian

 so I can make you

 I took italian 

So I could speak to you

Pasta oh Pasta

I will move to Italy

just to eat you

HAPPY TUESDAY?

Sure let us say that.

Let us start from the very beginning.

I woke up at 6:45.

Cursed to live off the day with only 3 hours of sleep.

Due to the mind not wanting to rest.

Italian class, was fun and simple.

Geometry, I was too tired to work.

I did learn I passed my second Mastery, aka I passed the class.

Drama, was refreshing since we had a rest day.

History, only class I did actual work in.

Lunch, SANDWICH DAY, it was yum.

Chemistry, had a test, it was on the easy side.

Reminds me I have Chem Homework.

I will start very soon.

English, we saw more of The Crowd.

It was sad, the little girl died.

My naive heart hoped that she was still alive.

I just knew it was not true.

I also have homework for that class.

I have to make DISCUSSION QUESTIONS. Joy.

I got home. I had a nap. A very good nap.

I awoke all cheerful and glad at about 5.

Went to get the mail.

I actually got mail.

Mail from my dream college, California College of Arts [CCA].

It had information about the school, and told me that my catalogue was on it's way.

It made me soo happy because it means that they now know I exist.

They now know I am thinking about going there.

I really would love to go there.

The campus is amazing.

There is two, may I add.

One it SF and One in Oakland.

So I would have to live in Oakland for a year if I choose to go and live there.

I am still trying to make up my mind if I rather live and stay at home or live on a campus.

Who knows what I will pick?

Well the future will once day chat up with me and tell it all.  

Grab It

My dreams are steps away

every step I take 

every thought I break 

I am closer to the dream

sooner or later

I will grab it

I will take it by the hand

I will never let it go

put in my pocket 

keep it on my thoughts

all in knowing

I made it

I did it

all the hope has worked

My dreams are real

Book Idea.

Dream 2. Racer Park 

Takes place in a fictionous environment.  In California [ like all my books] on a ranch near a lake.

There is a weird amusement park that is based off racer games. They all go to a boarding school.

People= 

Narrator: Julia, shy girl who is a underdog with hidden beauty.  Likes Jerry. Jakob is her Best Friend.

Jerry, dorky kid, Shaggy hair, song writer. Likes Juna.

Juna, alien from pluto, amazing in all ways, created to make people fall in love with her. She is orange, people just think it is a bad tan. She likes no one, hates leaving the house. She has an odd curiosity for Jakob.

Joe, obsessed with the Jonas Brothers, he is gay. Likes Jonas.

Jonas, jewish, curly short hair, is afraid of Joe, likes Juna, Jamee, and Julia, he likes all girls. 

Jamee,  sweet blond, pale, short girl who is in love with Jonas but hates how he likes all girls.

Joe's stalkers, tweens that realize that he is gay but still love him.

Lastly Jakob, the geek, who is madly in love with Julia ever since he set eyes on her. 

I had to write this out, before I forgot. 

The Roaring 20's.

Thursday was Hat Day, well Cat in a Hat day.

I wore a 20s inspired boilers hat.

Personally I would have no idea if it was even FROM the 20s.

Since I bought the hat at the Thrift Store. 

I can tell you it is at least 20s inspired.

I wore that all day.

Got awful hat hair.

It is the reason I left it on for so long.

I love that hat, and I am very glad I wore it.

My grades are up now, well I know my Chemistry grade is a C.

She told my mother, thank goodness to.

I still am a bit worried for math.

But I know I can do it, I just have to.

Have to.

I do.

I really think I passed the last Mastery Quiz.

Friday was interesting.

I got my best friend for part of the day.

Since her Boy Friend went off... some where.

So we got be loud and obnoxious together.

Just like old times.

Annoying the normal folk and sometimes our friends.

Weird how much of a private, shy person I am when I am alone.

My friends let me blossom.

I looooove them.

Well we had a odd rally.

I was some what amused. 

I can say I yelled for people.

The Hip Hop Crew dance just confused me.

Truly, I will never understand it.

I will stick to my music. 

Just like glue.

Then back to the 20s. 

In my 6th period English class, we saw a silent film.

It was called The Crowd.

 I liked it, it was cute and funny.

A bit sad.

I kind of would forget that no one was truly talking.

I liked it though.

I wish we finished it.

I truly do. 

=]

REWIND!

My computer died for a few days, which is why I have no written in a feqw days.

Well I have WRITTEN. 

Just not on here.

I will make up for that today. 

Right now.

This song is pretty adorable.

Look How Cute!

Gender Bender

So today I tried to dress like Ryan Ross.

Plaid Jacket, green pants and moccasins.

A very Pretty. Odd. outfit if I say so myself.

Which I am, saying myself.

Well today was amazing and not so amazing.

I met and hugged and WAS ELBOWED by Minijean Brown. 

She is soo amazing and kind hearted.

 Don't worry the elbowing was an accident.

It made me happy, and she said sorry.

The rest of the day was mixed. 

Durring lunch I took a Mastery Test for my Geometry class.

PASSED.

Odd Enough it did not raise my grade .. not at all.

So now I plan to pass 3. 

Get a B. 

That way my grade will be better.

I really do need a better grade in that class.

So do I need a better grade in my Chem class.

I am working on it.

I am working hard.

Harder than I have ever worked.

I really am.

I just need to keep my grades up.

All the rest are As and one B.

I need my Chemistry and Geometry classes to be Cs.

Cs that will make me glad and proud.

Though those classes were one higher grades, only dropping because I got a flu.

A stupid flu that ruined my life.

Well my life in 2 classes.

I am working hard, and I will prevail.

I will.

I have to.

Then my Chem teacher made a horrible speech about how Little Rock is related to Chemistry.

I found it pitiful.

Went to English, had a real talk about it.

I began to feel horribly sick.

When I got home I passed out.

Now I am here.

Like I am everyday.

In my pitiful room in my colorful room.

Hoping on a greater day.

To bring my life a rainbow.

These are sooo good.

Who? Day

So I was School Spirited today and dressed up as Zooey Deschanel.

Obviously I was no comparison.

So today was the first day in months I did not ignore Alien, a guy I wasted my time on last year, I saw him after 5th and said Hello.

Only a Hello and a Smile.

Along with a poke.

I will not like him again, I can not.

Like I have said before, I don't want that right now.

I used to think I did.

I used to think a lot of things.

Now I think differently. 

Which a bit of the same ideas stuck in between.

I think the only way I might let my self like again is if someone wanted me.

Someone I could actually want back.

Maybe, but for now I fine alone.

I like it.

I am used to it.

I need to stop having feeling for guys I liked back in the day.

Hehe that makes me feel old that phrase, Back in the Day.

Well I have years to live.

Molto Vita! 

Very Adorable.

Free Write.

Sunday afternoon, burning hot, feel like a pig do to all the sweat, not because of the Swine Flu. That is truly not that big of a joke to me any more, I could care less. In a plaid skirt, with a panic shirt that oddly matches. I am hoping to go off to goodwill. I would love to ride my bike there. The thing is my bike is still not so attractive, still rusty nor do I have a lock. My parents are still over protective, not allowing me to get used to the outside world at all. They just cause me to fear the world outside of this room. I am getting to scared to even walk outside. 

I have become too private, no longer really wanting company. The weekend is my free time, no body to bother me, except my parents.  Even though a friend of mine came over yesterday, she is a good friend though, one of the best. I really have grown to love punctuation, maybe it is a part of my obsession of trying to have grammar skills. Grammar is why I fear next year, AP English, what if I do DO horrible in that class. I can not deal with that, it would be a shot in my heart. I really truly love English, it is my future, my passion. All my past teachers think I can do it, well I have not asked Ms. Clampett since she was the one that said I was not ready for Honors, actually I think she was right. I have become a better writer. I can comprehend larger book much quicker now. When I don't I just take out my giant Dictionary,  that has every word that was invented before the 70's, that is a lot of words. I know it is possibly for me to read a large amount of books in a small amount of time. I did read all of the Twilight books in about a week. [So Cliche, I know] 

Music is my phycologist, thank to it I CAN BE CALM when I want to scream. Regina Spektor is such a grand help. Grand reminds me of Catcher in the Rye since Holden thinks that word is phony. I truly love that book, even if it may have caused the death of one of my favorite musicians. Poor John.  At the moment I am truly reading Night and Catch- 22. I say truly,due to the fact that I am actually reading more books, it is just the fact those are my priorities, these are since they are for school.  I believe I am soon off to goodwill, I love that place. I will walk the long road with my mother. It is our Sunday Tradition. I hope it all works out. 

A Bee in Your Bonnet.

New name of the Zine.

YAY!!!

Saw "How To Be" today, it was slow but adorable and actually a great movie.

Then I finished "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut 

Loved it.

Now I have 5 MORE SUMMER READING BOOKS!

I already started on "Catch-22".

=]